Tub Skirmish
by Nova Super
Summary: Robert's escaped to London in the Spring of 1912 when all the entail unsettlement begins. While staying at the club, however, an unusual adventure unfolds... A fluffed up pillow par-taking in the Summer Photo-Promt Smut Thingy. M will come along in later chapters.


**Tub Skirmish**

_Prologue: Bim Bang Bong_

Ah the peace and quiet. A fair and clear Spring day in 1912, with a pleasurable breeze frolicking with the light drapes at the bathroom window of one of the finest suites of Brooke's Gentleman's Club in London's West End, St James's. The bath was full to half with luke warm water, bubbles and a bit of splashed whiskey. Somewhere down the street music was being played, it lulled through the open window of the bathroom and set a gentle mood with it. Peace like this, Robert thought, was too often hard to find. Whiskey, warm weather, cool water, being naked... it all just made sense... He'd been sat there through 3 heavy glasses of drink and was beginning not to mind the way his skin was starting to shrivel from the water. Usually he hated the way it made him go all pruney but today, he could not care less. He was happily, contentedly alone and relaxed for the first time in months.

"Bim bam bong, I like to sing this song," Robert muttered, swirling his whiskey and bobbing his head from side to side. "Bim bam bing, this what I sing. Bim bang ting... I want Cora to..."

He turned rosy at his own made up words, craning his neck to look through the crack in the door, making sure Bates had definitely left for his own quarters. "Bim bang ting, I like Cora to play with my thiiiiinnnngggg."

The last note, if he did admit it so himself, was rather operatic indeed. He sighed, admitting himself a little chuckle at his own silliness and reclined once more against the back of the tub. This was the life...

_SLAM!_

Four inches of very expensive liquid went down his front. Damn, now he'd need to wash again...

"ROBERT?"

Oh dear, so perhaps the serenity was over... Albeit far too quickly, he thought in botheration.

He could hear scuffling noises and the rattle of a key, footsteps making light thuds on the carpet, heels on marble flooring... Maybe if he stayed incredibly quiet...

"Robert? I know you're in here!"

Moving very quietly and slowly, he heaved himself up so he was crouching in the bath, reaching out for one of the folded towels on the chair nearby as he moved.

"Robert?"

The water stirred a little as he made to step out of the bath, splashing slightly as he manoeuvred the towel around his waist. Her shoes on wooden floorboards. Great British nipples, he was busted.

She didn't say anything, he froze, eyes cast downwards, one foot still in the bath and one on the bathmat, his towel kept in place by one hand at his groin. Very slowly and mechanically, he turned his head. She was wearing her clip-cloppy heels, the ones that made the most noise when she walked. His eyes moved up her legs, dressed in black still - for the cousins. He'd have found it preferable not to meet her expression and spend the rest of the awkward silence looking at her chest, alas his eyes continued their journey up her body and found her gaze. Top-boardered by a singley raised brow and slightly pursed lips...

"Cora-"

"Where have you been?"

"Well, I've only just-"

"You could have written!"

"Cora I only left this morning-!"

"Besides the point! What did Murray have to say?"

"I haven't seen him yet-"

"Well what have you been doing all day?"

"Well I've... I've been..."

An uncomfortable silence grew, Robert, still with one foot in the tub decided now would be a good time to regain a little of his dignity and with coy movement, balanced on one foot to extract himself fully from the tepid water that had now gone a little golden with sloshed liquor.

She looked at him, really pursing her lips now as though deciding something (or sucking an imaginary lemon). Robert waited, still clutching his towel.

"Are you going to challenge the entailment?" she asked finally.

"Err... no."

"_No?_"

Clearly this was the wrong answer.

"Yes?" he tried.

"What? You just said no!"

"I meant yes!"

"No you didn't."

"I did."

"You're going to challenge the entailment then?"

"No."

"Oh for goodness sake."

"I can't - it's sealed tight. Murray won't take it on and he's the best solicitor in London!"

"You said you hadn't been to see him yet."

"I'm not going to talk to him about the entailment!"

"Really Robert..."

"Really Cora."

Neither said a word for a moment and then Robert broke out in a grin.

"How did you get up here anyway?"

Cora smiled despite herself, sucking on the inside of her cheek as she suddenly became incredibly quiet and mischievous-looking. Dropping her bag and summer coat, she walked very slowly and purposefully towards him, the same wicked grin on her face as her shoes went _clop... clop... clop._ And stopped. Her hand ghosted over the edge of the tub, her gaze observing the clear but slightly coloured water still sitting there, the sunlight glittering over the liquid surface. He dared to raise his hand, his fingers touching to her chin and tilting her face towards him. Her eyes moved to his.

"Take me," she whispered quietly, seductively. It appeared he didn't need telling twice... "Oh!"

After minutes of stillness suddenly the both of them were very much alive and moving. Groping for touch and kisses, murmured words against hot lips, the promise of sweat so appropriate in the gathering heat. Her dress around her ankles, and her undergarments soon to join it, Cora perched on the edge of the tub, grasping Robert's shoulders for support while her legs wrapped around his middle. He reached across the bath, putting his weight on the metal tap feature while he ravished his wife's neck with fervent love bites, almost at point of first intimant joining... And that's when - a little inevitably when two chose to have it off in a precariously balanced position - the tap on which Robert was leaning snapped clean off.

Cora's back dipped and she found herself plonked on her bum in the tub while Robert half-straddled her and the edge of the bath tub. Then an all mighty and roaring drum roll sounded, Cora suddenly found she wanted to be sick, Robert felt the intense tingle in his lower joints fade as a chill rolled through him. The noise around them subsided suddenly and when the couple opened their eyes, they found they were no longer alone...

* * *

_A/N: This will be a little multi-chapter so the juicy M is still to come! Do hope you all enjoyed this chapter, my photo prompt was a bathroom... x _


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